So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
pray to the hookup gods
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
