question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
