WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
