Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
