I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
