Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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