I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
And then my night got REAL pukey
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
