Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
