Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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