I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
