My sheets look like a crime scene.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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