I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
