just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
