Im at strip club and am horny
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
