we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
