So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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