i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Quick, to the slutcave!
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize