I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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