i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
