My balls are so social today.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
