All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
