My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
