my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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