I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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