I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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