How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
