The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
