Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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