ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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