THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
