his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
