ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize