So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
