i jhust puked up my retainher.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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