We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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