My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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