this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
