i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
