operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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