The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize