okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
