Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
