ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
