just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
