if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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