Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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