next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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