You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
