Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
So much Jack, so little girl.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
