So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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