Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
