so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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