Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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