They should really pass out barf bags in church
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
We need to get me chipped asap
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
