i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
