Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
