Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
