Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
