I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
