I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
