Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Boobs are out for the taking
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
