remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
you had me at cake vodka
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
