i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
