What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize