There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
