The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Randomize
