Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize