The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
