After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
