yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
