His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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