i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Drunk is a universal language darling
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
