I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
